BEST JOB IN THE WORLD
Where: your own couch
When: a day of your choice
What time: 1:00 pm - 6:00 pm
At Pockies, we recognize the value of great boxershorts. Not only do we wear them for the better half of our lives, but they also carry and protect our most precious assets. The average quality of most men’s underwear out there is inexcusable. It seems like most brands don’t give a rat’s ass about protecting your crown jewels.
And know this sounds weird. Our boxer shorts are fitted in such a way you can comfortably sit on a couch without flashing your goods to the world. Yes, we mean your balls won’t fall out. Special fit aside, it’s all about the patterns. Classic, smooth, kinda hot but always simple. So, it looks amazing and fits like a glove. Is that all we’ve got? No. We’ve added pockets baby. This gives you the freedom of not needing to wear pants while still having handy pockets.
We are interested in ways to enhance the health and performance of mankind - in bed and on the couch. Especially in extreme conditions, such as suffering from an after dinner dip, this is a challenge. If students are to live in dorm rooms for long periods of time, science needs to take effective measures to counteract discomfort and itchy underpants.
For the next phase of the SCRS (Student Couch Rest Study), we seek men and women who will spend their days lying down, with the head resting on the pillow, and propped up with their feet against the other side of the couch. This position reduces blood flow to the extremities, like astronauts when in space.
Data is everything when it comes to lounging and in our never ending search for hang-out-knowledge we are looking for expert opinions upon all matters relaxation. We need the most calm, serene, low-bloodpressured, boxer-wearing person to test out Pockies for a day. This will not be easy and the road to perfection is a bumpy one. You’ll have to sit on the couch, watch tv, play videogames, order food and eat snacks for a straight day while wearing your favorite boxer short with pockets. Hard work will pay off and therefore we are willing to pay you 500 dollars and get you loads of Pockies.
* Are 18 or older
* Have no ambition whatsoever
* Can snooze up to 10 times in a row
* Are always late
* Are aware of the existence of the alphabet
* Love TV
* Have two buttcheeks
* Keep it real at all times
* Lack initiative
* Have worn underwear on more than one occasion
* Loads of snacks and takeout
* No career perspective whatsoever
* A week's supply of Pockies
* A great addition to your resume
* Monopolize your couch
* Absorb a lot of snacks
* Watch and criticize TV
* Comment on wearing Pockies
* Come up with a solution for climate change
* Nap about one third of the time (bedtime excluded)
Sounds like your the one for the Job? Fill out this form and wait for us to get back to you.